The Men of Meloncholy

It was an average day in the Town of Melancholy. Every Cholyer was up to his head in melons for today was the Day of Melancholy where the Cholyers would finally get to eat the Melons that they have been planting for years.

"YAY, THE MELONS, THEY ARE HERE!!!!!" said a little toddler Cholyer with eyes a glow.

"Thats right youngin' HEE HEE. Here, have a beer" said Old, Senile Cholyer who has been around since the very first melon picking back in 100 B.C.

"I've been around since the very first melon picking back in 100 B.C." said Old, Senile Cholyer "And i shall not lie, the first one was probably the best. But maybe this year will be better, the only way to find out is by getting drunk, have another beer."

"Old, Senile Cholyer, i think you have had to much to drink. Maybe you should stop drinking and tell me a story..."

"HEE HEE, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, have another beer and forget about it HEE HEE...AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH *dead*"

"OLD, SENILE CHOLYER, ARE YOU OK?" said the little toddler with fear in his eye.

"Yeah, yeah, im fine, just a little dead, i suggest you call an ambulance or something. Perhaps a paramedic."

And so the little cholyer chap ran as fast as he could to the closest hospital he could find.

"HELP, PLEASE, SOMBODY, I NEED A MEDIC!!!" shouted the little boy, but atlas no one listen. Except for one man, he hid in the shadows and his name was Evil Lord Betty.

"I hear you, boy" said Evil Lord Betty, "But i dont know if i care enough to help"

"Please Evil Lord Betty, you are my only hope!!!!"

"Well you did say please"

And so, are hero ran back to Old, Senile Cholyer but this time with help.

"See, he is pretty much a goner!!! but can you still help"

"Do you know why they call me Evil Lord Betty?"

"Now that you mention it I actually didn't even know your name was Evil Lord Betty, i kinda just guessed..."

"Oh, well then...Well they call me it cuz im EVIL, IMMA LORD, AND MY NAME IS BETTY!!!!!"

"OH NO, NOT THAT!!!!"

"YES, THAT INDEED"

and so are hero was stuck in between a rock and a hard place, whether he chose to join the dark side or the light side idk. Well, this was the first thing i posted in the Literary part, and probably the worst, but as are dear friend Old, Senile Cholyer said "And i shall not lie, the first one was probably the best. But maybe this year will be better, the only way to find out is by getting drunk, have another beer."

As you can see that quote contradicts with what i said, but you know what they say "HEE HEE, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, have another beer and forget about it HEE HEE...AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH *dead*"

I hope you enjoyed this beautiful story. The End

The tears... they won't stop...

Thank you Nick, your sympathy toward the pain that poor little cholyer had to suffer through is enough to stitch back together his broken heart...and maybe even my broken story. Anyway, another way to help this story improve is by buying war bonds from me. Anyway, Part II will be up eventually.

Just beautiful.

Part 2: War Bonds

"MAN THE STATIONS!" shouted the speakers. The town of Melancholy was under an attack, but this time it was serious.

"OH NO OLD, SENILE CHOLYER! WHAT ARE WE TO DO?!?!?!" The little boy cholyer said with his eyes full of fear.
"This reminds me of 'Nam! You know what we did in 'Nam boy?" The little cholyer got shot. "Well it was a horrible war. The Vietcong had something they liked to call the 'Vietcong machine' and we had the Vietcong machine too. So what we did is we asked for war bonds to pimp out our Vietcong machine so that we could win and then be able to walk around in America with our heads up high and our trophies-a-flailing everywhere. So we made posters reading:

This is WAR!!! Give us war bonds and we will give you the right to bear arms. Still not convinced? How bout we give you an arm to bare so that when you have the right you can be all like "I HAS AN ARM TO BARE :D!" Still not convinced? How bout we throw in this free Evil Lord Betty action figure with Spine Smashing action!

Nobody bought any bonds. So we decided that we were going to have to steal the money. So what we did is we robbed the Vietcong of all their money and used it to by a cooler Vietcong machine then them.

And so it was the day of the race. The tensions were high. So high that people began exploding on sight. And it was about to begin when out of the blue Uncle Sam came and told us a touching story about America and how much cooler it is than Vietnam. And so America won the war."

Blood and destruction everywhere. Everyone except for the Old, Senile Cholyer had died. It seemed like the end of the Town of Melancholy when out of the blue came Uncle Sam.

"Uncle Sam, what are you doing here?"

"Why I'm here to grant you one wish! So what will it be?"

Old, Senile Cholyer looks around at all his dead companions and friends then looks back at Uncle Sam.

"If it isn't to much to ask for Uncle Sam, I would like it if you could give me some MELONS!" He licked his lips and continued speaking "Yes-sir-ree-bob, Good old Melons" and so Uncle Sam delivered and the Old, Senile Cholyer was at peace...And by at peace I mean he died too.

I attempted to purchase war bonds, but I can't figure out where to buy them.

Yeah, the signs did make it sound good, but they had no information on WHEre to get said bonds.